A Little Parental Advice

We are on day two of school being cancelled, thanks Hurricane Sandy.  We were spared the brunt of the storm and have weathered it fairly well.  A little flooding, some downed branches, etc.  Nothing too crazy.  The kids woke up late this morning, and I was feeling indulgent.  When they asked if they could watch the movie, The Sandlot, I said sure.  Spencer had watched this movie with them before and I knew they liked it the first go round.

Over dinner Anna was talking about the scene where the little boy fakes drowning so that the lifeguard gives him mouth to mouth.  Kate was saying it was gross, I said something like I don't think kissing is gross, etc.  Spencer says something about how he doesn't think kissing is gross, but if a boy ever kisses you and you don't want him to, punch him in the face.  Kate says, really?  I offer the helpful advice that punching someone in the face can hurt your hand, so slapping him might work better.  Meanwhile Anna is looking at me like I'm crazy!  Yesterday Adam had bit her on the back of the arm, again, and I told Anna that if he ever did that to her again to push his face away.  (Anna has a tendency to take physical abuse from other kids).  She's sensing I'm a physical person I think :)

I take a moment to listen to Spencer tell the girls about kneeing a boy in the privates and flash back to my own 2nd grade year where I got in trouble for kneeing a boy named Billy, I think I did it just to see what would happen.  I interrupt their conversation with a comment about how that sort of action should be reserved for times when you feel un-safe.  I mention to Kate and Anna that Kate's school does not take physical violence lightly and that she would get in big trouble for just being rough with someone.  I say; this is a good thing because if anybody is ever rough with them they can trust that a teacher would help them.

Next Anna asks, what if an adult doesn't help you.  I take this as a moment to tell them both about how most adults know it's their job to protect children, but that every once in awhile an adult is the one to hurt a child, to make a child feel un-safe and if an adult ever made them feel that way they could tell Daddy or I and we would make sure that adult got in really big trouble.  We went on to talk about how it's usually not strangers who end up hurting kids, but people they know.  Yada Yada Yada.  I see Spencer out of the corner of my eye shiver.  The Sandusky situation had him freaked out for weeks.  I hate that I have to tell my kids these things.  But I feel better having them know the truth, I think they knew we were being honest with them and hope that they feel like they can be honest with us.  So the conversation stayed pretty light and I felt pretty good immediately afterwards, like we'd taken advantage of an opportunity to teach, or something like that :)  But now thinking about our dinner conversation I realized that in a few years I'll look back on this and think - we were such young, naive parents.  I mean look at us, would you trust us?