We've found ourselves in a bit of a battle ground. Californians will be voting in November to determine whether or not the state will recognize gay marriages. It's time to pick sides. We were told at church that we should be prepared to answer questions from the news media who might be waiting outside our buildings. This didn't happen today, but it sure caused a wave of panic to wash over me. I've thought a lot about this issue and here is where I stand today. I say today because I hope that my ideas will become clearer and that I'll gain an increased understanding of the importance of this issue the more I study and ponder and pray. I will be voting against gay marriages for a number of reasons.
1. Marriage is for starting a family. It starts by 2 people committing to each other, but couples don't need a traditional marriage the way children need their parents to be married.
2. The ideal situation for children is to have a mother and a father who work together to raise them in their home. This premise is as close to an unalienable right as any I can think of. There are many reasons that the ideal situation doesn't happen. Death, jobs abroad, divorce, etc. The fact that these things happen doesn't change what is ideal. I believe that we'd be doing ourselves a dis-service by changing the definition of marriage. We should all be working together to create more situations where children will be raised in the best possible setting.
3. I can see how this opinion could be devastatingly offensive to some. I don't want to offend or hurt anyone, I do hope good things for everyone everywhere. But I do have a belief in what is actually good and what is not. I believe marriage between a man and a woman is good, and that marriage between people of the same sex is not.
4. If you want to read the LDS church's official stance on homosexuality and gay marriage read this.
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8 comments:
Amen, sister. Good for you!
Yikes, I would be terrified. I agree with you. I have a friend who says she would vote for gay marriage because the only reason she wouldn't is because her religion (our religion) says it's not right. But she feels like she can't vote based on religion, because our country believes in freedom of religion. So if she doesn't have a problem with it personally, only religiously, she doesn't think it would be fair to impose her religious beliefs on somebody who is not her religion. It was a very persuasive argument for me. But in the end, I disagree. It's not just my religion telling me gay marriage isn't right--I don't believe it is right. Men and women were made for each other. I believe homosexuality can be something people are born with, that it is their trial. Mine is covetousness...and lots of other things...that I struggle with every day. And that is a trial somebody else will have to struggle with every day. But that doesn't make it okay. I think it is a very hard thing for them to be denied what they want so bad. But I think gay marriage is inherently wrong, because homosexuality is inherently wrong. What a tough thing to be dealing with.
This is definitely a hard subject. I have seen some gay parents who are better parents than some herdos. Does that make it ok? And if making gay marriage legal, what other forms of marriage need also be made legal...multiple partner? with a sibling? I'm sure people will come up with all kinds of crazy things and insist that if a man and a man can be married, why not a man and his dog?
With that said, I don't disagree with some kind of common law relationship where a partner can have some of the same rights as a husband or wife.
Good luck, Girl. I bet you're really missing good ole Utah now!
What I was trying to say when I was talking about the ideal situation was just that, that sometimes there will be gay parents that are better than straight parents, sometimes there will be ________ (fill in the blank), but the ideal is still a committed Dad and a committed Mom and we should spend time trying to create that situation.
wow...i do not envy you at all! I know where I should stand and inevitably where I stand on the issue but that is a hard one for me. I feel like I am not loving people by not allowing them to have what has made me happiest in my life...but then at the same time they can never have exactly what I have...I should start praying to see the Lord's view on this one because I know he loves his children so he can help me :)
Well said, Andrea. Well said. My tendencies run very close to "Lyle and Julia's". I so very much want for there to be some hidden wind-win solution in all of this. I am uncomfortable having views that deny a group of people something I cherish. If I stop to think I realize a same sex marriage is not the same thing, of course. But the argument for the other side is very seductive to me. That is, for me, what makes it so dangerous.
I totally agree with you. Recently there was a vote in AZ to see if this should go on our ballot. We were asked to send letters to our senators to share our beliefs. I felt good doing that. I think more and more of us throughout the nation are going to have to be in the same situation as you are currently.
I am glad you ammended your statement about a marriage between a man and a woman being good and that between a man and a man (or woman and woman) being bad. Certainly, it depends on the situation. Some gay couples will be more suited as parents then some straight couples. Keeping that in mind, I'd like to pose the question: Who's to say what is "ideal"? you say that a man and a woman make the ideal in terms of bearing and raising children, yet who decides that? I would imagine that if children were capable of deciding and expressing their preferences in relation to this rather complex and multi-layered issue, they might just prefer to have a couple (whether straight or gay) that is HEALTHY and COMMITTED over one that meets the seemingly significant requirement of being "heterosexual." This, however, is a bit of an assumption on my part. Just as is, I believe, your statement that a man and a woman are the "ideal." I guess, I find it disturbing that we, as a nation, are dictating how loving couples are able to live their lives. It's as if heterosexuals are provided a free pass simply as a result of their sexual orientation, totally disregarding their intentions (which, I think we could all agree, might very well be less than honorable), whereas homosexuals are absolutely denied. Granted, we cannot know the intentions of all individuals. yet, if we truly want to create the ideal for children and if that is, in fact, a male-female relationship, then why aren't we doing more to ensure that those heterosexual relationships are living up to all they are touted to be. Is there even a way to do that? Probably not, because if we were to attempt to dictate which heterosexual couples can and cannot have children, which are ideal and which are not, we would be violating people's basic rights. Yet, do gays and lesbians not have those same rights? Apparently not when it comes to families. And apparently we can make that decision for them (though not for heterosexual individuals).
To be honest, I don't know where I stand on the issue. But I just wanted to jot down some of the thoughts running through my head when I read your blog. Having some wonderful gay friends and knowing what amazing parents they would make, i find it difficult to stand against their right to marry. Yet, I cannot always navigate those feelings with my (rather conservative) moral compass.
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