Close Call

Sometimes I am grateful for the replay button that runs almost constantly in my head.  I often don't have the sense to recognize moments for what they are until they've passed.  Take today for instances.  Kate had a friend over and we all needed to get out of the house and go for a walk.  We walked past an apartment where Kate recognized a classmate.  We talked with him through the window and started to walk away.  His mother yelled from the window, please wait!  They were heading outside to chat us up.  The kids all played nicely in the communal yard and I offered to watch this boy as we continued our walk.  BTW, I know his family recently moved here from France, I know he's an only child, and I know he doesn't have many after school playmates.  As we circled back to this boys house his mom came out and asked where we lived and such.  I told her and she lit up.  She started talking about getting the kids together to play and other activities.  I'm smiling and agreeing on the outside, but on the inside I'm thinking - Kate already has so many activities, she has plenty of friends, I'm so tired - yada yada yada.  So we part on good terms and I walk home thinking about this new responsibility I'm feeling.  But when I get home the replay button starts working.

The reality is, everybody needs a friend, everybody needs to feel important, people have often found room for me in their lives and I'm grateful.  I can't say that I'm a very nice person - I think I'm a pretty good person, but I miss the intricacies of nice.  So I'm glad that although in high school I wouldn't have caught on today, I've grown a little and I almost nailed it.  If I live to be 130 I might be a real winner :)